goodbye blog.

you'll learn

one day, you'll learn.
you will, the hard way.

you think you have everything, you think you have friends, you think you're perfect.

But after eons have passed, and the sun has risen and set, you'll see, that once again, you're left standing all alone.

you're just selfish, ya know?

get over it. you are. don't even try and refute me. I can nail you like hitting a dart perfectly in the middle of a dartboard for the next 80 years of my life.

i can't freaking believe you

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!
you tell me something, then you just go ahead and refute it....you tell me that apparently 'friends' matter to you, and then because someone tells you to, you just delete all your memories of that friend, as if he/she didn't amount to nothing at all, and you know she did, and you said you'd TRY to make things better...AND its just because YOU or HER can't even get over the past, so you just try to erase it. I thought it was HER, but apparently its YOU as well...Well, you know what, you're stupid. thats just dumb. and you're a hypocrite.
HYPOCRITE.

I'm not talking to you.
for now at least.

go find out who you really are. And when you have, then maybe I'll talk to you.

oh. i get it.

i get it now.
so, if you promise the world something, you'll spend your life doing that, but when it comes to me, you'll just go 'i can't promise you something, because I don't know how it'll turn out'. i see.

so I'm worth shit.
thanks

at least you told me, right?

i dont think you understand

I don't think you understand.
I don't think you understand.
All you see is my anger here.
But, walk two moons in my shoes.
honestly.
what else do you expect from me?

Patience?
I've shown it.

Truthfulness?
probably more than you ever realized.

Be myself?
I am, I've spent the entire summer finding who I am, finding everything back to you and your priorities. Well, not everything, but a lot. And I have no power of that anymore.

Honesty?
Those who speak from the heart need to rehearsal.

Want?
you have no idea.

Time?
Am i ever not available?

Understanding?
What else is there to understand? that I don't already know.

So, tell me what I'm doing wrong. Yes, i get mad, but you always concentrate on the image you see through the window, not the actual image on the inside of the window. Look inside, this has been going on for too long, and if something's not done, it'll never recover. but thats your choice. make it.

i hate my life

this is what i get for trusting you...
believing you were a human
you're not.
you're a monster.
never gonna change.
so don't even try.
forget it
i'm done.
you tried
you failed
and if that's your best effort [supposedly]
i don't fucking care anymore.
you're not me ruining my life over
screw you.

you promised

you promised to never become that
monster
you promised to never say those
words
you promised to never desert others
again
you promised to never forget
friends
but you did
and when the sun's left shining, look where you stand.



Having just watched a movie on TnT about a woman living her life, because she was diagnosed with three weeks left to live, I've come to the following conclusion:



"There are the valued things in this world that are completely worthless".


you people hold me up to such high standards
you fail to see me has a person, when i am
and when i fail like everyone else, you fail to see recognize i did