never let your emotions get the better of you

never ever ever.
never.


"I worked so hard, to get where I am, tell me why I feel this way?"

ever felt this way? ever wondered what if there was something more to life, than just what everyone goes through at school? Sure. Everyone does academics. Sure, people try sports. Sure, got orchestra? We work so hard, everyday, every minute of our life, at school, but then would I feel like something's missing. something more. What does it really mean to be who we are. Who is Jason F. Chavez. Who is that kid? Is he just another average high school honors student, taking AP classes, sports, orchestra, SAT classes.....how does that make him special. No wonder the government assigned him as a #. Yes, your social security number defines you as a #. In the government's eyes, you're a number. Think about your school ID? You're just another number. Bank account #? Just another number. A number. This number. THAT number...wtf, seriously. But..what if there's something more to this world, something that's just waiting there, waiting to be found, something within grasp, but you don't know what to reach for. Ever felt this way? maybe, maybe not. but then again, maybe.


you say you mean what you say. yet you dont say what you mean, therefore how can i know that you mean what you really mean, and that you say what you truly say you mean.

i can't, i'm sorry.
goodbye lunches. goodbye you.

I always give me hardest, my best, 110% ALWAYS. yet apparently, its not enough. What else can i give? what else can i do? what more do you want from me? cant you see that you're you and I'm me now.
You shall see tomorrow. You shall see. Maybe you'll be glad, maybe you won't. But after the initial feeling wears off, you'll be hit with a train that's been building up so much momentum, it'll never stop. not even if God himself intervened. And by God, I hope you understand.